Ashram News Letter 15
1. Vivekananda Rocks at Kanya-Kumari.
Thank you Nina and Mr. Shirali for bringing out
the 14th news letter in my
absence and that too a lovely one. Since I had gone on a spiritual retreat
to Kanyakumari-The Vivekananda Rocks, I do have a lot to write about it
this time. There shall be two articles in this newsletter, 1) 60 manifestations
of love, 2) The storms die here. Article 1:It was on the day of Padwa,
when I was invited to a family, which believes in joint family system.
India has benefited for a long time the advantages of joint family system.
This system has accommodated daughters in the house of the parents until
they became of marriageable age. Sometimes the girls had late marriages
but yet the girls were parent’s responsibility until married. Even
for sons this system helped. Until they did not settle down financially
the boys were allowed to be within the family and the house. Sometimes
boys too if did not do well for themselves the parents allowed the sons
to stay with them. This sometimes did bring up family clashes of thoughts
but the sons and daughters were safe. Indeed in the old age of the parents
the children too then felt the need to look after them. This system was
useful and based on emotional binding and has its charms. If you count
the number of such family members today they may not exceed beyond 10.
In this entire world of billions of people we have hardly 5 – 10
members whom we could call ours.
Yet today joint family system is out fashioned,
even children of the same family live separate. We have separating walls
of the houses. Here however was a family who was keen on bringing bondage
between 50-60 members with love, and was wondering how to have all of
them under the banner of Family. Hence I was called to deliver a talk
on Family. Let me tell you
all a story here, before I write about my talk on Family. Story - Once
a traveler uses the hospitality of a couple for a week, and realizes that
the husband being Russian and the wife being American both did not understand
each other very well but because they loved each other, were
married. The traveler knew both the languages and hence decided to oblige
them by teaching the two the respective languages. He left them on a happy
note but when he returned after a year to meet them, he realized they
had divorced each other. He asked the neighbors, why did they divorce?
They said some stranger came and taught them languages, until they both
knew not each others language, they lived happily but on learning, soon
learnt to fight for they understood well what the other said, and soon
separated.
The traveler sheepishly left. The idea of narrating the story here is
to tell you that I did not want to be like the traveler in this joint
family. Till I did not walk in here the family was joint and on my walking
out, (laugh) it would no more be the same. So I decided to introduce a
game here and printed 30 names of Love and asked them to fill up only
one family name before one quality of Love for e.g. inspiration, Genuineness,
Confidence, Guiding, Being
ones own self, Learning to control, Expecting, having Hopes from some,
Respect Affection, Having Right Over, Remembering, Anxiously Praying for,
Wanting to give gifts, Friendly, Sharing anxieties with, Wanting not to
hurt, joy of my heart, Accepting one as he or she is,
Politeness, Being nice, Maintaining formality, Maintaining Dignity, Admiring,Influenced
by, Wanting to serve, Wanting to preach, Wanting to promote, Wanting to
glorify.
Let me fill some here myself to
say what I mean.
1) my father inspired me
2) Genuineness---I learnt from mother
3) Confidence—from elder brother
4) Guided –my second brother
5) Being Myself—with youngest brother
6) Learnt self Control—with second sister
7) Expected—from my elder sister-inlaw
8)Hopes-, had of second sister-in-law
9) Respect-I respected my brother-inlaw
10) Affection-I had for my nephews
11) Having Right Over-sister’s sons
12) Remembered my brother’s children
13) Anxious-for sister’s sons
14) Prayed for-brother’s daughters
15) Wanting to give gifts-youngest nephews
16) Friendly-with my cousin
17) Sharing anxieties with-my son
18) Wanting not to hurt-my daughterin- law
19) Joy of my heart—my grandson.
Indeed the rest of them are left
unfilled -------------------r
20) Accepting one as he or she is -
21) Politeness
22) Being nice to
23) Maintaining formality
24) Maintaining Dignity
25) Admiring
26) Influenced by
27) Wanting to Serve
28) Wanting to preach
29) Wanting to promote
30) Wanting to glorify
